By Far the Greatest Team the World Has Ever Seen
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The Mighty CPFC

This is the page for the greatest team ever, Crystal Palace FC. I've supported them for years and here I will (with help from my season ticket for next year) give brief match reports for all the home games. I'm not one to mince words - I prefer to lightly whisk them - so if we play shit I will say it. I'll also put in any news I can find (that doesn't sound like total crap) and keep an up-to-date squad list.
  Current Palace Squad List

1. Matt Clarke,
2. Curtis Fleming,
3. Danny Granville,
4. Danny Butterfield,
5. Kit Symons,
6. Tony Popovic,
7. Hayden Mullins,
8. Andy Johnson,
9. Dougie Freedman,
10. Shaun Derry,
11. Julian Gray,
12. Jamie Smith,
13. Aleks Kolinko,
14. Steve Thomson,
15. Aki Riihilahti,
16. Tommy Black,
17. Andrejs Rubins,
18. Dean Austin,
19. Craig Harrison,
20. Steve Kabba,
21. Andrew Frampton,
22. Wayne Routledge,
23. Gareth Williams,
24. Will Antwi,
25. Gregg Berhalter,
26. Ben Surey,
27. David Hunt,
28. Robert Smith,
29. Gavin Heeroo,
30. Lance Cronin,
39. Darren Powell,
55. Ade Akinbiyi,

Eagles!
  News Updates

04 May 2002: Looks pretty likely that Simon Rodger will be leaving during the summer and he's been linked with Brentford. I wouldn't be surprised seeing as our ex-boss Steve Coppell is there.

05 May 2002: Pre-season friendlies announced yesterday, we face Chelsea, Spurs (for Rodger's testimonial), Swansea, Bournemouth and Cheltenham.

06 May 2002: Marc Edworthy coming back? His contract at Coventry is running out and Francis could be interested.

07 May 2002: Star striker Clinton Morrison has been selected to play for the Republic of Ireland in the world cup.

08 May 2002: I just felt like updating. No real news.

09 May 2002: Julian gray has had an ankle operation but will be back for pre-season friendlies and that UEFA tournament (the one where we get battered by Anderlecht, Malmo and Real Betis I think).

09 May 2002: Dougie's been left out of the Scottish tour of the Far East and since Coppell could be leaving Brentford the Rodger move may now be in doubt.

10 May 2002: Watch out for Morrison in the next Ireland game against Nigeria (with no Akinbiyi) on Thursday.

12 May 2002: We're apparently after some Wolves midfielder Carl Robinson on a free-transfer. I don't know much about him, but he sounds good.

13 May 2002: Because of the international commitments and long-term injuries it seem likely that we'll be fielding a very weak team against Malmo and the rest in that UEFA sponsored tournament.

15 May 2002: Hahaha, this is really funny. Apparently Mr Bruce is lining up a bid for Morrison. Seeing as how we've already turned down an 8 million bid from Sunderland I can't see us letting our star player go to a club we have "issues" with for less. Kiss my ass Bruce.

20 May 2002: We beat Malmo!! 2-1 with goals from Granville and Kabba, now we play Real Betis tomorrow. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.

21 May 2002: Unfortunately I'm updating this before we kick off against Betis so I won't get the score till tomorrow, you'll just have to wait.

24 May 2002: Sorry about the wait, I'm very lazy. We lost 2-0 to Betis (not unexpected that) and went out but hopefully we gave "a good account of ourselves" out there. Oh, and Akinbiyi won't be playing again until a few weeks into the new season coz of his operation.

31 May 2002: Sorry for the gap in news, but I happen to be a lazy bastard. Dougie was voted player of the season and that's about it.

3 June 2002: Surprisingly quiet on the tranfers front, what with Morrison out in Japan and all. He didn't come on against Cameroon but I'm hoping he'll get a hat-trick against the Germans - hey, I can dream, can't I?

6 June 2002: Rumours abound of Morrison going to a load of different premiership teams. None of them sound convincing or quote an offer made.

7 June 2002: There's probably some news, but who cares? We beat Argentina. Ha.

8 June 2002: Actually there isn't any news. But still, we did beat Argentina. Ha.

18 June 2002: Been a while since I did this, hasn't it? Anywhoo... Morrison to Charlton is the current big rumour but I don't expect anything to come of it. Also supposed to be signing Jamie Lawrence (ageing midfielder) on a free transfer after he was released, along with almost the whole team, from Bradford.

24 June 2002: According to one of my friends we're going to sign Womble midfielder Neil Ardley, but I haven't read this anywhere and he's a bit of a twat so just ignore it for now.

29 June 2002: Apparently my rotund friend Mark was right and we are going after Ardley. Also linked with a load of Brummy players that seem to see Francis as the Messiah or something.

5 July 2002: We've signed Danny Butterfield on a free transfer from Grimsby Town. Versatile defender/midfielder, pretty young. Looks like a good signing. Also missed out on Lloyd Owusu who chose Sheffield Wednesday (??) instead.

11 July 2002: Rumours abound of Morrison going to Birmingham - none of which I believe at all - and us signing Patrick Agyemang as a replacement. Which would be shit.

13 July 2002: Palace beat Barnet 3-0 in a friendly last night with goals from Rubins, Kabba and debutant Butterfield.

23 July 2002: I know, I know, I've been neglecting my updating duties but that old holiday spirit got hold of me and, well. There you go. Anyway, Palace lost 2-0 to Bournemouth and then beat Carshalton 2-1 with goals from Freedman and Black. The Morrison deal to Birmingham looks to be almost down (F*CK) for around 4m and Andy Johnson coming the other way. This would be such a shit deal for us.

25 July 2002: Palace 3-1 Cheltenham. We came from behind with 2 from Freedman and a late goal from Black to win, plus we played some good passing football. Brum hope to complete the signing of Morison "in the next 24 hours" once Andy Johnson agrees terms with us. I really, really hope this move doesn't happen.

27 July 2002: Dagnammit, the move looks set to be complete on Monday, with all sides agreeing terms subject to a medical. Oh, we beat Swansea 2-0 with goals from Butterfield and Gareth Williams (youf player).

10 August 2002: FIRST DAY OF THE SEASON
Preston North End 1 Crystal Palace 2

Great result for us. Came from behind with a debut goal from Powell and a late winner from Kabba (a brilliant 20 yard half volley on the left foot).

12 August 2002: I won't dwell on our 4-0 beating by Spurs or our 1-1 draw with Charlton (although that's a pretty good result - Dougie scored) coz there's so much transfer stuff. Morrison's gone, Johnson and 4.25 million's in. Also in is Shaun Derry, 25, for 600k, a tough-tackling midfield hardman from Pompey and Darren Powell, 22 I think, for 400k. Powell is a 6"3 centre-back with pace from Brentford.

The hallowed turf of Selhurst Park
  Match Reports for season 2002/2003

Before I even start my first match report (I'm writing this at about 11.45 on Monday night) I want to point out that everything I put in the following reports is completely my own opinion and not anyone else's. Which means some of you will probably, at some point, disagree with something I say. Tough shit. This is MY website and I'll write whatever the hell I want. If you want to complain, write it in the guestbook, or throw turds at my house, or fart in a box and mail it to me.

This is not a newspaper report by an unbiased reporter on both teams, it will always be written from a Palace fan's point of view as honestly as possible. As I've already mentioned, if I think we played shit I will say it and if I think we played like Brazil '70 crossed with Real Madrid '59, I will say that too.

CRYSTAL PALACE FC 1 BRADFORD CITY FC 1

And here we go, the first report. Numero Uno. The Big Premiere. The Grand Ope... okay I'll get on with it. I have to say I expected better than this from the game. We didn't play particularly badly but it WAS Bradford and I was hoping for 3 points. The game was nothing special to look at, with Palace playing mostly long ball tactics, despite two short-arse strikers, in the first half. Dougie had one really good chance where he rounded the keeper before blazing the ball at the head of a defender handily placed on the line. Dammit. Curtis Fleming was taken off early on with some kind of face injury and good ol' Dean "HOOF" Austin replaced him. Bradford's best chance of the half was a freekick - which they didn't deserve - that Matt Clarke tipped round his top-left corner. I must point out before I go on that one of the main reason's the game wasn't very good was the incredibly shit refereeing from Mr P Armstrong. He was terrible with a capital SHIT. He gave Bradford freekicks for nothing, ignored blatant fouls on Palace players and sent Trevor Francis from the dugout for a jokey slap on one of our players. I know this sounds like an old blame-it-on-the-ref thing, but he really, truly was a disgrace. In the second half Palace improved with Tommy Black being replaced by Aki. We stopped playing longball and put it on the floor a bit more. For the whole half we had them under the cosh but just couldn't get that final ball right. Their goal came against the run off play on 76 minutes and was crap. Danny Granville missed a tackle on the right and allowed Gus Ulhenbeek to sneak right into the box and play it accross for Andy Tod to blaze into an empty net. In the 80th minute a Danny Butterfield cross came in from the right and Tony Popovic knocked down a free header into the net. Overall the game was an underachievment from our point of view. We had plenty of chances to kill the game off but Bradford defended solidly. Our best player BY FAR was newboy Shaun Derry who was rock solid in midfield and had a couple of good headers saved. Darren Powell looked good as well, pacy and strong, going on a mazy run in the second half and rounding three players before a Bradford player cynically fouled him. He was never beaten in the air and his positioning was good throughout. I can see him getting beter and better as the season goes on, especially playing alongside Tony Popovic. Surprisingly, the only player I was a little disappointed with was Dougie Freedman, who looked a little sluggish and never really ran for longballs or made many runs. Hopefully, he's just a little short of match fitness - as he did show some neat touches and good close control. Ah well, better luck against Pompey.


I'm not going into it. We were good for sixty minutes against pompey, then they scored 3 in 5 minutes. Go figure. And then we were absolute shit against Leicester. Francis out, ANYONE in.

The End.